It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
