i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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