i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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