You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize