Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
