big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
