the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You made out with two different species that night
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize