Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
