his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
