check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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