I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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