Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
