it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
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