So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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