used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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