When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
