sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
