i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
