sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
