ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
