I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
