super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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