Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
