she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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