Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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