Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
God I need to hump something, right now.
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