no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
