Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
