i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize