I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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