I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
