i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
