real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I love having hate sex.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
