I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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