i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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