: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Yo dont text me then not text me
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
