I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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