So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
