she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
