I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
