it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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