So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
