she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
