i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
