she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
