i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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