we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
