i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
