I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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