Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
