Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize