I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
