mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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