I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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