You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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