me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
