I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
