Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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