Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
