Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
