Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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