Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
