i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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