Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
