i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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