i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
