it hurts more in the daytime
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
