through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
The feeling are messing with the penis
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
