Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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